


Ten Bucks He's a Vampire

by SuchaPrettyPoison



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 24 Hour Diner, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Diners, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coffee, F/M, Humor, If you want a chuckle..., Rose is amazing and deserves all your kudos, Vampires, the banter is strong in this one, waitress Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23742949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchaPrettyPoison/pseuds/SuchaPrettyPoison
Summary: Rose was back on her shite, “How do you think vampires get erections without blood – like isn’t that required to get a boner?”“Why are you asking me when you have Google?”“I’m not going to waste my data when your can go ask you prince of the undead. Oh, tell him you require a demonstration."-Rey works the night shift in a 24-hour diner and Rose is pretty certain that one of Rey's regulars is a vampire.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 85
Kudos: 672





	Ten Bucks He's a Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> I have been so stuck writing wise this week...and then this happened....
> 
> Thank you so much to [hellyjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean/pseuds/Hellyjellybean) for ensuring this was readable, not utter shit, and listening to me bitch about being creatively blocked for like a week.  
> She is amazing and you should check her out cause it's just pure fluffy goodness from her!

“Ten bucks says he’s a vampire.” 

Rey bit back a sigh and an eye roll, because this was an ongoing debate and was not one she wanted to have at this very moment. Not when he was back again. 

Not when she could easily prop herself against the booth and talk to him. She could hear his low voice and gauge his level of exhaustion this evening – well, morning. It was like the man’s default setting was exhausted, there was constant bruising under his eyes, and all she wanted to do was take care of him. Which was crazy.

But she wanted to tuck him in bed and stroke his hair until he fell asleep against her chest. Was that too much to ask?

“He’s not a vampire Rose.” Rey cut her best friend a look as she waited for the coffee to finish brewing. 

He always wanted a little coffee with his sugar. She would walk over and greet him with a smile and coffee, he would quip at her perky level, they would trade back and forths, and she would work at getting those soft lips of his to pull back into a smile.

“He looks like someone straight out of a Jane Austen novel – he’s a vampire.” 

Well, Rose was not wrong on that account. He did appear as if he belonged to a different time, he looked like he was meant to be some sort of Byronic hero and it was lushes. He was her walking fantasy and he didn’t look like a fucking vampire. It was just that they only ever saw him at night, and his pale skin contrasted with his dark features – but Rey would put him more in line with a dark prince than anything else.

“Wanna talk about vampires? How about the pale ginger who comes in, and eyes you like he’d like to make a meal out of you?” She threw out the words easily enough. Enjoying the way Rose’s brow knitted together in confusion as she turned to give Rey her full attention.

“What ginger?”

“The one you yelled at for being a misogynist pig.”

Rose’s lips parted as her eyebrows went up near her hairline, “No. He’s Satan.”

“Yeah, and he wants you to meet his snake and take a bite of his apple,” Rey snipped, giving Rose the sweetest possible smile and a flutter of her lashes. She grabbed the pot of coffee and a mug,

“Begrudgingly I’m going to have to give you respect for that one.” Was Rose’s called response.

* * *

“If you don’t ask that man to make you mistress of the undead what are you even doing with your life?” 

Rose was back on her shite – and Rey was not in the mood. She was pretty sure that she had bombed her latest exam and she was in her own head about it. And then there was Rose, “How do you think vampires get erections without blood – like isn’t that required to get a boner?”

“Why are you asking me when you have Google?”

“I’m not going to waste my data when you can go ask your prince of the undead. Oh, tell him you require a demonstration. Maybe he can fuck the funk out of you.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Rose half sang, as she made her way past, plates balanced in her hands to take to the couple seated in the corner.

With the coffee pot in hand Rey plastered on a smile, as she made her way to his booth. And it was _his booth_ he came in multiple times a month and folded his massive frame into the dated vinyl seat. His hands were buried in his hair, but his eyes were tracking her movements to him. It felt like she was walking towards him completely naked, ready for him to take control, that’s how it felt to have his eyes on her. She couldn’t think of any other way to describe it. When she got within arm’s length, he let his hands fall to the table, his body angling slightly toward her.  
Maybe she should proposition him.  
Maybe he could fuck her happy; actually, there was no ‘maybe’ about it. She was certain he could fuck her happy.

“Hey there. Long night or early morning?” Rey gave him a light smile as she poured him his coffee, leaning over and angling herself to give him a view of her breasts. The uniforms were thick rough polyester mini dresses that must have been in fashion at some point in the ancient past, and the faded ‘gold’ colour did not do anyone any favours

“Bit of both.” He gave her something that might have been the ghost of a smile, the bruising under his eyes spoke to little sleep and high stress. The typical sharpness in his eyes seemed dull, his skin even more wan than normal. He seemed a million miles away.

“Do you think vampires can get erections?”

And she’d spoken the words before she could even wrap her mind around what she was saying. She just wanted the spark in his eyes.   
It was selfish really.  
And what the fuck was he going to think of her.

“Of course.”

Her eyes flew to his at the certainty of his statement. Her eyebrow rose in question, “Of course? They are undead.”

“Yes. But they drink blood.” He was explaining like it was the obvious thing in the world, “Which means that they would be able to get an erection as their bodies do have blood flow.”

So, even if he was a vampire – they could still have sex. 

Wait, woah. He’d been coming in and never gave any indication that he was interested in her like that.

“You had that answer right on hand? This is not the way to convince people you’re not a vampire.”

“Didn’t realize I had to convince people I wasn’t.” His eyes were on her, that sharp gleam starting to simmer. Rey chewed on her bottom lip giving a nervous laugh.

“Why are you upset?”

Rey had to pinch the bridge of her nose as he sat there silent waiting for an answer. Why had she engaged? She should have known he would pick up on her mood. 

“I think I might have messed up something that I shouldn’t have. And I’m being a little dark rain cloud about it.”

“Yeah. We all fuck up sometimes. Doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be upset. Apparently, it’s healthy to feel emotions.” He said, his tone soft and soothing. Those eyes of his making her want to curl up in his lap and be engulfed by a protective embrace.  
Not that she could show him that.  
He didn’t need to feel those emotions from her. 

“Shocker.”

“I know.” 

* * *

“Your vampire is back.” Rose called out louder than she needed to, which meant that he had almost certainly heard, and Rey was fighting the color she knew was staining her cheeks.

“You do know that he isn’t really a vampire? Like it’s important to me that you know this. That vampires aren’t real.” It was becoming more and more difficult for her to fight the infatuation she had for the man. A man who’s name she didn’t even know.  
Like he must know her name because she had to wear the blasted name tag which proudly displayed her name in that old ‘label maker’ font, which really spoke to the quality of the diner.

“Yeah, yeah, vampires aren’t real. But Sunshine, he’s your vampire all the same. Fuck, I was going to say, ‘bet he wouldn’t mind if you staked him,’ but…well, actually, he might be into that. Ask him if he’d like to taste your milkshake.” 

Rose was holding out one of the strawberry malt shakes and Rey was going to murder her best friend, because this was not what she needed in her head.   
She didn’t need to think of this man tasting her milkshake. Of his plush lips on her skin, his tongue dragging long strokes through her labia, his attention on her clit.  
She did not need those images heating her blood as she attempted to take his order.

“Just because you did that to Ginger Satan and turned him into a sputtering tomato does not mean we all need to.” Even though, it would be amusing to garner such a reaction from the stoic man whose smile was like a fucking drug and knew of its potency so rarely doled it out in full effect. And she was addicted to it. Addicted to the way he looked at her like she was something special. More than just a twenty-four-year-old waitress. Most patrons saw her as nothing more than the person taking their order. He was different. 

“You are no fun. This is what happens when you haven’t had your garden tended to.”

“Oh no.” Rey threw the rag at Rose, grabbing the fresh pot of coffee, “Please never refer to my vagina as a garden ever again.”

“He would tend to your bush so tenderly – and wouldn’t be grossed out by your period – and could handle your horrific sleep pattern. Your vampire boyfriend would serve you well.” Rose called out loud enough that a couple of heads turned in their direction.   
And of course, he was watching her. Of course, he would have heard Rose’s last remarks. Rey brought her free hand behind her back and flicked off Rose, only to be met by the sound of her delighted laughter.

“Any tips or hints on murdering my best mate? I’m asking for a friend.” Rey asked through a smile that she was sure was slightly deranged. 

But he was looking at her like he was trying to fight a smile. His stupidly erotic aristocratic face, and sinful eyes and lips, and that man needed to take better care of himself. How could she ask him about his sleep without coming off as a creepy waitress?

“Hmm, well when I was murdered in 1812 it was an incident with a horse and rope – can’t see that helping you here,” he said with a serious note lacing the words, but his eyes sparkled with amusement. He looked more alive when he teased her, it was always a bright spot to give that to him.  
And yet at this moment…

“I know you are joking with me right now cause of the whole ‘vampire’ thing. But I hope you know how incredibly unhelpful you are being.” She watched him pour in the heavy hand of sugar, his lips twitching – pulling into a small smile.  
The fucker.  
She almost knew what was coming before the words left his lips. He was going to tease her. 

“I used to assist the grounds keeper with our garden. And do have an inkling on how to coax a flower to bloom.”

“Yep, that’s it. You’re on the list with Rose. I hope you’re pleased with your decision.” She half glared at him, while being completely obvious that she was enjoying this all just a bit too much, “Now where can I get a horse and rope?”

“I have rope and I’m sure he has something you can ride,” Rose interjected as she sped past with an order. 

That sealed it.  
Rose had to die. 

* * *

“It’s odd that the Ginger Satan Vampire has maintained his accent while yours speaks like an American from the Midwest. Do you think he likes speaking to you cause it reminds him of his homeland?” Rose asked as they were clocking in, preparing for an eight-hour shift, both of the shrugging out of their thick rainproof coats that they wore in hopes for combating the damp autumn chill.

“You do know that being English is not a prerequisite for being a vampire?” This bit was now nearing the six-month marker, and it didn’t seem like Rose had any notion of letting it die. And honestly, Rey was into it now as well. 

It had become a fantasy of sorts that maybe he was some sort of immortal vampire, and that he wanted her. That he would do anything for her. That this massive, dark brooding stranger who wasn’t a stranger would do anything that she asked. Would run his ‘fangs’ over her skin, but she knew she would be safe. He would never hurt her.  
She knew that much to be true.

As they were making their way out to the front of the diner, ready for a night of work, Rose continued on, “You do have a point. ‘I vant to suck your blood’ vampire wasn’t English either. But seeing as yours is Mr. Darcy, he should have an English accent. It’s required.” 

“The name’s Ben actually.” 

Rey stilled at his slightly distorted voice, while Rose (fucking Rose, turned and graced him with a smile), “Took you long enough to offer that up.”

Honestly, how had Rose made it this long without someone killing her. Because Rey, loved Rose, and was looking at her like she hoped she would spontaneously combust.   
But there Rose was. Not a pile of ashes. Damn.  
And so now she had to look at Ben.  
Ben.  
Benjamin.  
Fuck the name suited him. She could imagine calling it out as he worked her over.

And he was there. Wearing a fucking cape. And were those fangs? Did this man actually go out and buy fangs for this bit? Did he put all this effort into playing with them?  
He was solely focused on her, and there was that tug again.  
She wanted to go to him. To care for him. To have him care for her. 

“Names are rarely important in the grand scheme of knowing someone.”

“It’s much better to come in at all hours of night and talk to them while they’re on shift at a dodgy 24-hour diner.”

“Yes,” He let out a breathy laugh, and she had to fight her body’s desire to throw itself at him, the hint of those stupid fangs gleamed in the florescent lighting.

“I have matters to deal with and won’t be able to come in for a couple of weeks. I was hoping to give you my card, in hopes that you might like to contact me.”

She took the card he held out to her, “So, you like me for more than just my blood?”

“Blood is easy to get. Finding someone who I want to make smile is something else entirely.”

* * *

“Wait. What’s the ten dollars for? Wait-- he’s a vampire?”

“Well he sure sucks like one.”

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Twitter: [SuchaPrettyPSN](https://twitter.com/suchaprettypsn/)  
>   
> Tumblr: [Tumblr](http://www.suchaprettypoison.tumblr.com/)  
>   
> I know. Some of you might have been hoping for a Happy to Help update - and I really tried, but everything I wrote was sucking balls, and I refuse to do that to them. And this was the first decent thing I wrote in quite a few days.
> 
> Might I recommend checking out [Darling, our scars make us who we are](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23546344), if you want some sexually charged Tattoo AU in your future.
> 
> If you want a super soft and fluffy quarantine fic [krossartist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/krossartist/pseuds/krossartist) and I co-wrote a one-shot: [The New Normal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23610787)


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